we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
MIDGETS
????
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
