I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
