I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
