I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
