I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
