I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
