U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
