Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
