I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
only you would photoshop your dick
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Randomize
