now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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