it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
