Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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