Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
