Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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