I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
