Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
