The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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