I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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