What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
