Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am puke
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Randomize
