I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
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