I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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