My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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