we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
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