just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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