Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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