people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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