I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
