This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
