They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Randomize
