once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
