chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
