Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
