moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
