So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
