how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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