I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
