i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
