Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
