Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
