Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
