Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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