We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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