Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
