we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Randomize
