I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
