I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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