Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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