I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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