Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
