Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
