Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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